a contemporary retelling

Frog Cruises offered the fanciest and most comfortable accommodations for a journey across the river. Eager travelers signed up to secure a room on the beautiful vessel.

Once on board, however, the passengers were shocked to read on the ship manifest that the notorious Captain Scorpion would be the commander of the ship.

“Why has Captain Scorpion been put in charge of the ship?” the passengers asked, with great concern.

“We feel,” Frog Cruises replied, “that Captain Scorpion is the best choice for Frog Cruises at this time, and that his appointment will make Frog Cruises even better than it is today.”

“But Captain Scorpion is a sociopathic incompetent!” the passengers protested.

“We understand and share your concerns,” Frog Cruises said, “but Captain Scorpion has assured us that we will have a safe and luxurious cruise, and we hope you will give him the chance to make good on his promise.”

“Can we speak to Captain Scorpion?” the passengers said.

“I’m afraid Captain Scorpion is very busy preparing to set sail,” Frog Cruises said, “but we would be happy to answer your questions.”

“Is Captain Scorpion going to sink the boat?” the passengers said.

“A good question,” Frog Cruises said. “Captain Scorpion has assured us that he doesn’t expect any sinking to occur. Our team at Frog Cruises will be working closely with Captain Scorpion to provide him with the benefit of our expertise. It would not be in his best interest either for the boat to sink, after all.”

The passengers were wary, but chose to stay on board. It was indeed a beautiful boat, and they set out without incident.

Halfway across the river, the ship suddenly hit a shoal at full speed and began to sink. Unfortunately, Captain Scorpion had secretly removed the lifeboats from the ship before they had set off.

“What is going on?” the passengers said, as the waters rose around them.

“There have been some unexpected setbacks on our voyage,” Frog Cruises said. “Captain Scorpion has had to make some changes to our navigational strategy.”

“But why did he get rid of the lifeboats? We’re going to drown!”

“We don’t inquire into Captain Scorpion’s maritime decisions,” Frog Cruises said.

“Then let us talk to him!” the passengers screamed.

“We have already answered your questions,” Frog Cruises said, as they all disappeared under the water.

Image by Eduardo Benedetto